Flying Cow Pentathlon – November 9, 2019
Once, long ago, during the time of the Great Cattle Raids, the successful Quest for the Relics of Saint Bovinius gave the people of Barren Sands a mighty talisman against the ravages of those perilous times. Alas, when the danger passed, people began to forget and devotion to the Shire’s patron saint waned. The Relics were put away and passed from mind.
Good news! The Sacred Soup Bones of Saint Bovinius are not lost or forgotten! On Saturday, November 9, 2019, Barren Sands once again honored its patron saint with a Flying Cow Pentathalon.
Those mooooved to compete in the Pent, chose at least five activities or areas of participation. Depending on the number of participants, contestants were grouped by age, height and reach, rank and/or experience, or by judge’s whim. Most likely by judge’s whim.
Events of the day:
1. Craft stick catapult and toy cow. Build catapult on site (materials provided). Instructions will not. Be creative. Cow will be provided.
2. Tabletop catapult. Bring your own catapult, not to exceed 18 inches in height. Cow will be provided. This is an outdoor contest, weather permitting.
3. Holey Cow. Scored on accuracy.
4. Put the herd in the barn. Scored on distance and accuracy.
5. Poem/song/hymn in honor of Cow to be performed during the meal. Puns, soup references and cow jokes a plus. Contact the autocrat for a copy of the Vita of Saint Bovinius before the event for inspiration if you think it will help.
6. Convincing cow sounds: teams of two, cow and caller. Decided by popular acclaim.
7. Recitation of the entire cow flinging scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
8. Pin the tail on the cow. Age limit single digits.
9. Cow portraits. a) portraits done previously. b) portraits done on the day.
10. Cow herding
11. Over the castle wall, inspired by Monty Python.
12. Any other silly activity the judges come up with.
The decisions of the judges will be arbitrary and final.